turkey....thanks....etc

should madness turn over a new leaf?

A recent death of a person I worked with for years has caused yours truly to reflect on life. What strikes me the most is how people continue to talk negatively about this person. The fact of the matter is that they weren't very nice to a lot of people. Always decent to me. (Who's gonna mess with me really?)

But I guess that I expected people to forgive and forget and they haven't....
I think its really sad for your legacy to be like that.

Makes me wonder how I am perceieved by people. As a mean, burnt out old hag?

I am wondering: should I change myself? Should I become gentler, nicer, more caring?
Instead of a frown, should I wear a smile? Should I turn over a new leaf as it were? Become an example to the young nurses? Get my education done on time? Never complain? Love the patients? SHOULD I?????????? SHOULD I?????????

Nah...fuck em all.

RIP my friend

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sometimes there is nothing to say

Working in the emergency room puts you in positions that no one else is put in. For example, you might have to deal with somebody who did something horrific thing a criminal = a rapist, a murderer. There is no choice. There they are. You have to deal with them.

Then sometimes you are on the other side of the coin. Something horrible has happened to someone. Its not something that will get better. Ever. They will have to live with it and never be the same. Those are the times when you don't know what to say. There is nothing to say. You want to run away. Its too hard. Its ten times as hard for them. I guess all you can do is be present, treat them with respect. Listen to them.

Sometimes my job is really heavy and I carry it home with me.

no insurance: goodbye, good luck

You may have seen in the last day or so the results of a Harvard study saying that trauma patients who are uninsured die more often in the ER. I love this quote: "The findings by Harvard University researchers surprised doctors and health experts who have believed emergency room care was equitable". HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Yeah right.

Do you really think that if you don't have health insurance you are going to get the same care as someone with health insurance? Yeah and I have some swampland in Florida for sale.

Lets just say you aren't going to get the "Cadillac" tests. For example lets say you come in for an episode of numbness on the right side of your face. No insurance? You might get a CT scan of your head. If you have insurance, you might get an MRI which is a much more sophisticated and detailed test. Chest pain? Oh sure, you will get labs, EKG. If you have insurance and there is a hint of heart disease in your family? Off you go for a CT angio of your heart which gives a detailed picture of your coronary arteries.

That's the difference. Part of the difference is doctors not wanting to do tests that are probably unnecessary that you will be billed for personally. They don't have to worry about that if you are insured, so why not order it?

You are more likely to be admitted if you have insurance. For vague symptoms, for pain control. No insurance? Follow up with one of these community clinics which have sliding scale fees.

Its the reality of modern medicine folks. Its why everybody should have insurance.